Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
