why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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