I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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