I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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