woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Alive.
So much puke
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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