after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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