I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
