You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
