So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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