i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
