Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
