he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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