The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
