Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
