ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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