Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
