Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sorry about my life...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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