Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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