There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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