I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
