I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
