I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
