Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
