Where is the hickey?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
