OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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