I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
