WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
