Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
