i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
