dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
