the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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