dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
