the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
