I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
