The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize