Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
