Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
