he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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