So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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