Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
