talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
