I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
