Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
