after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
