I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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