It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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