im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize