wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
