She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
