I'm really into asian looking animals
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you will always have a special place in my vag
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
