xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
