end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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