its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
