After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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