she smelled like a LAN party
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize