i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
