You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
