girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
