she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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