They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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