just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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