I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
