Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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