Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
In America we eat man semen.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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