How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think your dad took our porno
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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